Crohn's Disease Forum » Support Forum » Vent Away » Today is just not my day


12-05-2008, 03:40 PM   #1
monroe
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Today is just not my day

This will be just one major vent, I dont expect people to read or respond to it. Just need to vent out all my frustrations...

I'm so annoyed with this disease, for months I had symptoms and just pushed them aside. It got to a point where I forced myself to drive to the emergency room, crying in pain I asked my boyfriend of whom I live with (of 3 years) to come and his response is "i don't like hospitals" ..who the hell does?! I sat in a hospital with him for 7 hours when he had severe mono. Now, after a proper diagnosis and meds that don't work he thinks that I use this disease to my advantage. Yes, because I love moaning. when abdominal pain hurts, and going to the bathroom 8 times a day, and having no energy to do anything anymore. But yet I treat him as if he has the disease and he never has to lift a finger.

I hate the fact that my brother and sister gang up on me. My brother believe its just all in my head and that I am aneroxic. My sister, who is a 27 year old woman thinks crohns is just a tummy ache, and she gets those all the time so there is no reason for me to be on medication. I would expect my own blood to understand out of anyone.

The fact that I have lost friends has bothered me to. Since I don't tell them I have a disease they just assume I don't want to go out anymore and have become anti-social. I refuse to go out with people who are going to drink all night, and then ask why I haven't picked up one, or why I'm so pale and skinny now.

I am lucky to still have my best friend. Without her I would go insane and I wish that everyone had someone like her in their life. We talk everyday and because she lives literally 6 blocks from my house thats about the only person I hang out with. She asks how I'm feeling when I don't look so hot, and makes sure I always have a bottle of water with me. She even showed up in the emergency room when she found out I was there alone. We finally went out to the city for a change of enviorment and she was sure to ask every hour is I needed a break, need to go to the bathroom, and how my stomach was feeling. So I can't be completely pissed off.

I wish there was some sort of machine people could get hooked up to and it would pass sypmtoms of this disease through their body so that could really understand what we go through.

I cryed all night yesterday because everything has just gotten to me. Thats all I have to write.
12-05-2008, 04:04 PM   #2
jed
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i see these kind of posts and count my lucky stars for my family and friends that have been so understanding.

the disease is crap enough without having to deal with family thinking its nothing.

feel for ya Monroe!
{{hugz}}
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12-05-2008, 04:24 PM   #3
kello82
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aw girlie im so sorry

i feel where youre coming from with a lot of this. i think we're close in age? im 18.
i also have problems with my bf, its like, sometimes hes supportive and understanding and then other times he'll say that i "use my disease as an excuse". what?!?
and as far as friends, it is definitly very hard to be social at 18 living with crohns. i dont drink either so going to parties pretty much sucks, and sometimes just hanging out will turn into my friends spontaneously drinking. its like AGH can you guys do anything fun besides drink?!

your best friend sounds like a true sweetheart though. im very happy that you have at least one person who you can hang out with and not worry about things.

i know its hard, but it might be better to be honest with your other friends and let them know a bit whats going on. im new to this whole being open thing myself, but i already feel better in a lot of situations and i think my friends feel better knowing a bit more about whats going on with me.

hope your day gets a little brighter *hugs*
12-05-2008, 04:45 PM   #4
monroe
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Thanks jed and kello.
jed - I am very glad to here you have friends and family who understand

kello - yeah, we're pretty close in age, I'm 19. I feel if I open up to friends they'll treat me as a charity case and I'm usually very private. And my boyfriend understand SOMETIMES. Yeah, I love when it turns into spontaneous drinking, and i have friends from age 18-24 so thats what they spend their weekends doing. Thats when its time to go home because being sober around a bunch of drunks isn't that great lol. Thanks a bunch
12-05-2008, 05:10 PM   #5
jed
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monroe said:
Thats when its time to go home because being sober around a bunch of drunks isn't that great lol. Thanks a bunch
LMAO, take some pred & come join us in chat sometime, our stupidity in there puts drunks to shame

but we do have Pen in there to keep us on the straight and narrow (she tells me off when i get to rowdy!
12-05-2008, 05:42 PM   #6
My Butt Hurts
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jed said:
... take some pred ...
Jed - you can't just go around telling people to take some pred. Don't make me yell at you in front of everybody!

Monroe, you are so lucky to have that best friend of yours. Keep her close.
As for your other friends, I wouldn't hesitate to tell them about your disease if you think that they are worth keeping in your life. The good ones will be understanding, mine are.
As for your boyfriend, I can understand where he is coming from. It's got to be frustrating for him to see you when you are sick, and you are probably sick so often with your new diagnosis, it can seem fake. People really don't understand this disease cuz the symptoms can change from day to day.
My husband is usually pretty good with it, but when I got really sick last year, I could tell it was taking a toll on him. He would make dinner very night, do dishes, play with the kids, all of the stuff that we normally split doing and he was about to explode, it seemed. I told him "Imagine that you have the flu, but it's for weeks and feels like it's never going away. That's how bad I feel right now", and I saw a light go off in his head. He finally got it. Maybe you could try that line on your bf.
Hopefully this vent helped you feel a bit better. Good luck - be well.
12-05-2008, 06:29 PM   #7
monroe
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jed said:
LMAO, take some pred & come join us in chat sometime, our stupidity in there puts drunks to shame
LOL, now that sounds like fun!

pen- yes i think its time to leave the boyfriend. thats all my mother has been telling me since the hospital ..but ill see if i cant stand it anymore.

thanks everyone
12-05-2008, 06:38 PM   #8
jed
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monroe said:
LOL, now that sounds like fun!
ha ha MBH, she agreed with me. I WIN!!!!!! you dont get to tell me off again! LOL!
12-05-2008, 07:01 PM   #9
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monroe said:
This will be just one major vent, I dont expect people to read or respond to it. Just need to vent out all my frustrations...

I'm so annoyed with this disease, for months I had symptoms and just pushed them aside. It got to a point where I forced myself to drive to the emergency room, crying in pain I asked my boyfriend of whom I live with (of 3 years) to come and his response is "i don't like hospitals" ..who the hell does?! I sat in a hospital with him for 7 hours when he had severe mono. Now, after a proper diagnosis and meds that don't work he thinks that I use this disease to my advantage. Yes, because I love moaning. when abdominal pain hurts, and going to the bathroom 8 times a day, and having no energy to do anything anymore. But yet I treat him as if he has the disease and he never has to lift a finger.

I hate the fact that my brother and sister gang up on me. My brother believe its just all in my head and that I am aneroxic. My sister, who is a 27 year old woman thinks crohns is just a tummy ache, and she gets those all the time so there is no reason for me to be on medication. I would expect my own blood to understand out of anyone.

The fact that I have lost friends has bothered me to. Since I don't tell them I have a disease they just assume I don't want to go out anymore and have become anti-social. I refuse to go out with people who are going to drink all night, and then ask why I haven't picked up one, or why I'm so pale and skinny now.

I am lucky to still have my best friend. Without her I would go insane and I wish that everyone had someone like her in their life. We talk everyday and because she lives literally 6 blocks from my house thats about the only person I hang out with. She asks how I'm feeling when I don't look so hot, and makes sure I always have a bottle of water with me. She even showed up in the emergency room when she found out I was there alone. We finally went out to the city for a change of enviorment and she was sure to ask every hour is I needed a break, need to go to the bathroom, and how my stomach was feeling. So I can't be completely pissed off.

I wish there was some sort of machine people could get hooked up to and it would pass sypmtoms of this disease through their body so that could really understand what we go through.

I cryed all night yesterday because everything has just gotten to me. Thats all I have to write.
hi Monroe.... your opening post took me right back in time - that was me exactly, when i was a teenager. the anorexia thing (in fact i was misdiagnosed with that before the Crohns diagnosis) - everything! so, oh boy, do i know how you feel!!

i am so glad you do have a trustworthy and caring best friend, and now you have us here - you're not on your own with it hun.

welcome to the best forum family on the net ((hugs))
12-05-2008, 07:14 PM   #10
monroe
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dingbat thanks. i realize everyone on the forum struggles with this and i'm very lucky to find a place where i can vent, give my opinion, and ask questions.

this really is the best forum ive ever been on!
12-05-2008, 10:06 PM   #11
My Butt Hurts
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jed said:
ha ha MBH, she agreed with me. I WIN!!!!!! you dont get to tell me off again! LOL!
Oh greeeeat Monroe - encourage him why don't ya'...

But I DO get to clonk you over the head, Jed - you said it yourself!!
12-05-2008, 11:45 PM   #12
kello82
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dingbat said:
the anorexia thing (in fact i was misdiagnosed with that before the Crohns diagnosis)
oo yeah i meant to comment on that too. ALL thru middle and high school people would ask me if i was anorexic. esp cause thats the age when you learn about that stuff in health class, then everyones all like "OMGG shes ANOREXIC!!"

but how do you say "no i am not anorexic. i have a disease that has to do with POO. a lot of it." ?

bah i guess just chalk it up to kids being kids. adults can be more mature about things i guess.
12-06-2008, 12:51 AM   #13
monroe
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kello82 said:
but how do you say "no i am not anorexic. i have a disease that has to do with POO. a lot of it." ?
haha
i don't even get into detail when explaining it. i just tell them i have crohns disease, and when they ask what it is i just tell them to wikipedia it lol.
12-06-2008, 03:07 PM   #14
teeny5
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Sorry you feel so bad Monroe, I too get the people that tell me they feel the same as I do. Oh I get tummy aches too, I feel tired too. I give up on trying to explain to them that it is different.

Unfortunately it isn't just kids that ask you if your anorexic. I am 28 and got those comments from other adults that I work with. I think everyone thought I was anorexic at work...they probably still think I was. I am sure they think the leave I went on was for some sort of rehab or something...let them think what they want.
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12-06-2008, 10:08 PM   #15
Crohns08
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Sorry to hear you've been going through that Monroe! I am also thankful like Jed that I have such supportive family, and that sucks that you don't! But we can be your supportive pseudo family!

I heard the anorexia thing a lot, BEFORE I was diagnosed! But I was in marching band, and not eating as well, so it wasn't a far stretch. (I wasn't, I was just nauseated sometimes and didn't feel like eating)

After I was diagnosed the anorexia thing went away. I haven't been out with my friends in forever, I couldn't tell you how long. However, I am going to get together with them soon, they are in band still, I'm not. I'm waiting for myself and them to get a free schedule.

Ironically, whenever I tell someone about crohns they are very understanding. I don't go into detail, but I do explain it some and it's weird.

I also haven't dated in awhile either, my ex-boyfriend's dad is my doctor! That was pretty weird at first, but it really didn't bother me. I don't even think he remembers me from that.

Your best friend sounds like my best friend! She is the best, and she will ask me how I am doing if I don't look well. She watches out for me, and she has stuck up for me when people think I am faking it.

Hope you feel better!
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