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Crohn's Is Where the Fart Is

I never planned to post in here. Digital shyness, perhaps. I've been a member for a little while and just being a part of this community has made me feel better. But now, after a week like this I figured it was time to share and upgrade my status from a mere lurker. So here's my story...

I was thirteen when it all began. Ahh, yes, I can still remember running to the bathroom and asking for a bathroom pass from my teachers every class period. I think half of my motivation to join the newspaper staff in high school was that laminated Press Pass that let me wander around the halls unquestioned at any time of the day. That's right, I found the loophole to acquiring a permanent Get Out of Class Free and Poop Card. If only I had been able to use my powers for good. After a few years of suffering (and my very first colonoscopy) I was diagnosed at 15 with ulcerative colitis. I tried Asacol for a bit and after it did nothing I settled for a scrip of Lomotil and dealt with my symptoms.

So I was a girl living with colitis. I knew all the best public restrooms (Target) and the worst foods to eat (ice cream). Pizza and coffee were a "sometimes, maybe" and popcorn could be torture.

As I reached my twenties I started experiencing bouts of constipation. Which is worse, I ask you- the diarrhea or the constipation? I'm definitely going with constipation. I've dealt with diarrhea for so long-- it was my safe comforting friend. At least I felt like I knew my body.

In 2007, when I was 26, I was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease. No inflammation had been found anywhere except in the small bowel so the doctor's slapped the CD diagnosis on me and that's where I've been ever since. CD diagnosis and horrible constipation that leaves me with hemorrhoids. That's all there was to it. Until recently.

Have any of you ever had a food called "Divinity?" I tried it for the first time a few weeks ago. I'm a teacher and one of my students made me a batch as a present. You can't turn down a kid who stayed up baking for you all night. One sniff of this stuff and I knew I was going to be in trouble. But she just stood there staring at me with those big eyes... so I ate a piece. About a half an hour later I was paging the office to have someone watch my students so that I could make an emergency trip to the bathroom. My old friend, you guys know her, Diarrhea, still likes to show up every now and then.

I don't know how it works with you guys, but after a flare, I'll usually feel a little better. You know, relief. Until the gurgling starts up again. I never even got that relieved feeling. Just massive abdominal pain. It was in the lower right quadrant so after talking to my general practioner, I was advised to go to the ER. Two CT scans later and I was starting to worry that this was turning into the most expensive "gas" diagnosis ever. But the doctors persevered because my appendix was unusually prominent and finally determined---nothing. Well, I didn't have appendicitis but they're still not sure what it was.

I saw my GI doctor the next day (my first time with a new one!) and he got me in for a colonoscopy right away. Clean as a whistle. Don't you love when that happens? You're in severe pain... your symptoms are flaring and your colon looks so darn clean and pretty you start to think you're crazy. So he scheduled me for a small bowel follow through. Those aren't too bad for most of the population. Unless you have "sluggish" bowels like myself. That means that it takes FIVE glasses of barium and SIX hours on an X-ray table. I'm Cique du Soleil-ing it all over that freaking X-ray table and they STILL can't see my terminal ileum! It turns out that I have an unusually low hanging cecum that perfectly blocks my terminal ileum.

So now I'll get another CT scan specifically for my small bowel. That'll be sometime next week. We'll see.

That's my story.

Thank you for your humor and your understanding.

Thank you for reading.
 

xJillx

Your Story Forum Monitor
Welcome! I have to say, your story was so entertaining to read - you are hysterical! You must have such a positive attitude to be so humorous about our awful disease. I give you credit!

And I can completely relate to your experience with the small bowel follow through. That's the same as a lower bowel series, right? I just had that 2 weeks ago and it was endless! I was there for about 5 hours and they couldn't even get the money shot - my TI! I was so upset. All that radiation for nothing! I mean I was rolling around like a circus dog on the X-ray table with the doc pressing that crazy paddle in me while the X-ray machine was running the whole time! I guess it wasn't all for nothing, though, because it showed my small intestine was normal. So, that was good news.

Good luck next week and let us know how the CT scan goes!
 

ameslouise

Moderator
Thank you for YOUR humor and welcome! I laughed first at the title of your post, and then thru your whole story. Well, you know, the content isn't funny but the presentation is. Sense of humor will get you a long way with this disease!

Glad you joined and hope to see you around lots more!

Good luck with your next set of tests. - Amy
 

Astra

Moderator
Hi Jess
and welcome

We really need stories like that! And you've gotta laugh at yourself, I do it all the time, and I love the look on people's faces when it's TMI!

Great to have you here, and we'll see you around!
Lotsa luv
Joan xxx
 
Have to agree with all of the above. Your story, though not great, is told with such humour it made me smile ;)
Keep posting and making the whole of this community that little bit brighter
Hope your barium test goes better than before. I actually liked the barium, now thats just weird!
 
Thank you all for your support. I am so glad I've found this forum. I can still keep my embarrassing symptoms to myself and shield my boyfriend, but I can get it off my chest online. It's fantastic.

Speaking of TMI, I don't know about you guys, but I've developed quite the predilection for bathroom humor. I suppose it's because when you have Crohn's, there's no such thing as TMI anymore. One of my favorite lines of late comes from the comedian Louis C.K. from his stand-up routine. I saw him live recently and he was talking about his body being is such rough shape (as he often does). He confessed, "I'm within a 48 hour window of diarrhea at ALL TIMES." I was laughing so hard because it all rang so true.
 
Hi! Welcome! As I was reading (and laughing) I realized that I am not the only one that thinks constipation is so much worse! Does not happen often for me but when it does, I am a real witch! Come on back when you can.
Michele
 

Terriernut

Moderator
"That means that it takes FIVE glasses of barium and SIX hours on an X-ray table"
Jaysus, and the Oscar of *&8*^ing goes to.....Jessupan!!!! FIVE glasses??? Honey, you are some trooper! And with a wicked sense of humour to go with it, you get my Oscar vote anytime. And as I get TWO votes because I have 'Stan the Stoma', you are a clear winner!
I sure as heck hope you improve everyday, and get some help!!! Welcome to the forum!!
Misty
 

AndiGirl

Your Story Forum Monitor
I'm glad that you decided to quit lurking and join us! I love the title of your post by the way. Please stick around and join in, as we are a fun group.
 
The constipation is so much worse in my opinion too, but my younger self would never have believed it! I had crohns for about 12 years with mainly the big D, and I thought nothing could be worse. Then all of a sudden, a few years ago, my Crohns changed completely, and I started getting Constipated to the point that I would go weeks without a BM. Needless to say this felt awful, and eventually lead to surgery. Most people don't get it to that degree, so don't worry about that, just saying.

Welcome to the Forum! I can already tell you are going to be a great addition to our little family :)
 
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