Wow, where do I start? I'll start from the beginning..
I've been sick all of my life. My earliest memory is in a hospital bed looking up at my IV bag. I was born with an abscess on my chest for which they had to remove surgically. After that I remember my mothers alcoholism while constantly being around her in a horrific state. In the midst of this, I was always getting high fevers and strep infections... as well as skin infections like Impetigo. It was always something!
When my family moved us across the country to a new town and new school is when I began getting even more sick. The doctor thought I had leukemia because my WBC was so high... Still can't believe doctors say these things without absolute surety! Anyway, I started having ungodly chills and fever. I had them for 2 months before we finally went to the hospital. I couldn't even walk to the bathroom without fainting. My mom once carried me to the living room and put me down to fast and I doubled over in pain so severe I started crying. I was tired of feeling this way!! I had an appt scheduled with a hematologist and while in there, I fainted on my from the hospital bed to the weight bench. They admitted me right away.
Turns out I had an abscess, fistulas, and a skin tag. It was a brutal process... I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Oila, I got my diagnosis.
When I was 20-23, I had no health insurance. I went from hospital to hospital. Because I had no health insurance, I did the only thing I knew I could for my pain: I took opiates. Didn't get addicted right away, but eventually did. I am drug free today and happy to say it, but I keep waking up in pain every morning and I'm tired of it. I can't sleep and when I finally do fall asleep, I wake up in brutal pain.
Recently got out of rehab and am living a much better life, but it's lonely. I feel I can't talk to anyone about this. Back in Ohio when it came up, my friends got upset at me and told me I was making excuses. So, now I am very guarded about it. I feel like a burden to everyone and have often felt like nothing more than a disease.
Now I attend AA meetings, ironically, though I don't drink. I never thought I'd end up in one like my mother and her mother before her. A doctor told me according to that pattern I shouldn't feel bad, but it doesn't help. Working the 12-steps has helped my self-esteem, but I still can't open up about my illness with anyone. I can't take it anymore!!
I feel like I'm going to explode!!! Though I may have begun my first 24 years incredibly ill, I want to build a better life. Now I am here. My drug addiction was cured/helped with the help of other addicts, so now I am going to apply that to my Crohn's.
Feel free to reach out to me.
Kayla Loo:oo:oo:
I've been sick all of my life. My earliest memory is in a hospital bed looking up at my IV bag. I was born with an abscess on my chest for which they had to remove surgically. After that I remember my mothers alcoholism while constantly being around her in a horrific state. In the midst of this, I was always getting high fevers and strep infections... as well as skin infections like Impetigo. It was always something!
When my family moved us across the country to a new town and new school is when I began getting even more sick. The doctor thought I had leukemia because my WBC was so high... Still can't believe doctors say these things without absolute surety! Anyway, I started having ungodly chills and fever. I had them for 2 months before we finally went to the hospital. I couldn't even walk to the bathroom without fainting. My mom once carried me to the living room and put me down to fast and I doubled over in pain so severe I started crying. I was tired of feeling this way!! I had an appt scheduled with a hematologist and while in there, I fainted on my from the hospital bed to the weight bench. They admitted me right away.
Turns out I had an abscess, fistulas, and a skin tag. It was a brutal process... I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Oila, I got my diagnosis.
When I was 20-23, I had no health insurance. I went from hospital to hospital. Because I had no health insurance, I did the only thing I knew I could for my pain: I took opiates. Didn't get addicted right away, but eventually did. I am drug free today and happy to say it, but I keep waking up in pain every morning and I'm tired of it. I can't sleep and when I finally do fall asleep, I wake up in brutal pain.
Recently got out of rehab and am living a much better life, but it's lonely. I feel I can't talk to anyone about this. Back in Ohio when it came up, my friends got upset at me and told me I was making excuses. So, now I am very guarded about it. I feel like a burden to everyone and have often felt like nothing more than a disease.
Now I attend AA meetings, ironically, though I don't drink. I never thought I'd end up in one like my mother and her mother before her. A doctor told me according to that pattern I shouldn't feel bad, but it doesn't help. Working the 12-steps has helped my self-esteem, but I still can't open up about my illness with anyone. I can't take it anymore!!
I feel like I'm going to explode!!! Though I may have begun my first 24 years incredibly ill, I want to build a better life. Now I am here. My drug addiction was cured/helped with the help of other addicts, so now I am going to apply that to my Crohn's.
Feel free to reach out to me.
Kayla Loo:oo:oo: