breaking down
I was diagnosed with clinical depression a few years ago, actually, i guess it's been more like 10 years ago. I find myself going in these cycles where I feel better at times, and then hit these times where I feel depressed and i am just not good enough.
I hate the feeling that I am not good enough for anyone. I hate that I feel like I'm not skinny enough, not pretty enough, not a good enough wife, mother, daughter, friend. I have the fact that i feel like everyone would be better off without me. I hate the fact that I don't feel well pretty much all of the time, and i hate myself for hating myself so much!
Today I feel like I've had a little bit of a breakdown. Sometimes i try to hide it so much and put on a smile that i don't deal with the feelings i really have. I just feel so sad and yet so guilty that i have all of these ill feelings towards myself.
Does anyone else constantly struggle with feelings like this? I know I need to seek out a therapist again. I saw one years ago and it really did wonders. I keep saying I'm going to find a new one, I don't and then start feeling better so I just forget about it, until I get depressed again.
I was diagnosed with clinical depression a few years ago, actually, i guess it's been more like 10 years ago. I find myself going in these cycles where I feel better at times, and then hit these times where I feel depressed and i am just not good enough.
I hate the feeling that I am not good enough for anyone. I hate that I feel like I'm not skinny enough, not pretty enough, not a good enough wife, mother, daughter, friend. I have the fact that i feel like everyone would be better off without me. I hate the fact that I don't feel well pretty much all of the time, and i hate myself for hating myself so much!
Today I feel like I've had a little bit of a breakdown. Sometimes i try to hide it so much and put on a smile that i don't deal with the feelings i really have. I just feel so sad and yet so guilty that i have all of these ill feelings towards myself.
Does anyone else constantly struggle with feelings like this? I know I need to seek out a therapist again. I saw one years ago and it really did wonders. I keep saying I'm going to find a new one, I don't and then start feeling better so I just forget about it, until I get depressed again.