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A message of hope ..the ups and downs of crohns

Hi everyone,

I recently joined the forum and have made a few posts about my recent struggles with a current flare up but i thought i'd take a moment to introduce myself properly and tell you a little about my life with crohns.

I was first diagnosed in 2003 i had been suffering for about 6 months but i'm stubborn and hate drs so i continued to struggle. I was in my first year doing a post graduate diploma in social work in Cardiff. I was under a huge amount of pressure to do exams essays and a work placement and i would not let a bit of pain and bloody bowel movements slow me down!

Anyway i kept this problem a secret from my family untill i went home for the easter break and when my mum opened the door to me she looked at me blankly and then realised it was her daughter stood at the door. I have always been on the chubby side and i had lost about 4 stone in that time. I spent a week at my mums untill finally she dragged me to the hospital where i was taken in as an in patient and diagnosed.

I was put on a heavy dose of steroids which calmed things down but in the process put on about 5 stone.....so the crohns was no longer making me miserable but i was fat and i lost all confidence in myself. So much so that i only left the house to go to work. I became isolated and loney and very very depressed. My mum would say 'i'm so proud of what you've achieved, you got through your course you have your own home/car a good job and you've done it all by yourself whilst being very poorly' i'd say 'but mum i have nothing for my soul'

Anyway i hit my 30th birthday having lost most of my 20's to ill health and depression and something inside me snapped my health was better but i wasn't living something had to change.

I went on a strict diet and started losing weight, when my confidence improved i started online dating and met my current partner...amazing wonderful partner. He was everything i wanted, he knew from the offset about my depression and illness and it didnt put him off.

We dated for a year then set up home together and in July this year we're getting married. He's so supportive brings me hot water bottles when my tummy is bad picks up my meds sits in on my appointments encourages me to eat he makes me laugh everyday no matter how poorly i feel.

Through all the illness and emptyness i never thought i'd end up here despite the illness and bad times i feel very very lucky.

So dont give up hope we have IBD and it sucks big time but it doesnt have to define us live life the best you can and really treasure the good things in your life and dont ever think no one will ever put up with you because of ill health...there are good people out there who will love you for you

Andie x
 

SarahBear

Moderator
Location
Charleston,
Hi, Andie!

I'm sorry to hear everything you've gone through. I agree with your mother - it's incredible that you managed what you did while feeling so badly. I'm very glad things have improved for you and you have what you need from life. Also, congrats on the upcoming wedding! :)

Are you in remission now? Are you taking any medications?

I hope things continue to go well for you! :)
 
Hi Sarah,

Thanks for your response, alas i rearely seem to be in remission i have a couple of good weeks a couple of not so good weeks and in between i have hard to deal with weeks.

I have been on inflixamab/aza (which gave me an inflammed pancreas...never felt such pain!) steroids and meza currently on 6MP and although it worked really well for me initially it seems to have lost its worth.

I was single and lived alone for 6yrs and sometimes i questioned whether it was worth me sticking around :( life was full of pain and isolation.....so now even on my painful dark days i think about how far i've come and i really believe we all have it in us to both accept those dark days but to also stick 2 fingers up at what we've been dealt and say screw you i'm gonna be strong and get through this!

x
 

Angrybird

Moderator
Location
Hertfordshire
Hello and welcome to the forum :)

How often do you see your GI doc? I am wondering about the effectiveness of your current med if you are only well a third of the time - was dosage for the 6-mp are you on? Do you still have regular bloods for this and are your inflammation levels checked as part of these? Also have your vitamin levels ever been checked? Do you still follow any type of diet at all?

AB
xx

Oh and congratulations on the wedding!!
 
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