01-17-2013, 08:51 PM   #1
saralynn
 
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New to Crohn's. Advice please?

I've posted this before, but someone suggested that I should post it in this forum. I'm new here. My name is Sara. 4 years ago I met an awesome man and fell in love. Because we are both in college in 2 different states. We decided not to be in a relationship. About a year after we met, he was diagnosed with Crohn's. He's been handling it very well. A year after he was diagnosed he had an abscess that put him in the hospital for a few days and he had surgery. He did really well for a year. we both graduate from college in May so we decided to start a relationship. A couple of days ago, He started having really bad pains in his stomach. He went to the hospital and found out he had another abscess. He had surgery two days ago. After his surgery, he was in a lot of pain and he was throwing up. yesterday his temperature was 92 and then it went up to 102. Eventually, it was normal. He got to come home today.

I've been in college for 5 years studing nursing and child development, so I have learned a lot about crohn's over the last few years. Although I know a lot about Crohn's, I'm very worried because I don't know what I can do to help him, or comfort him throughout this (mostly when he's in the hospital). He is an absolutely wonderful person. He has been apologizing everyday for the last 2 weeks. He keeps saying he's sorry because him being in the hospital has ruined my plans (which it hasn't). I've told him numerous times that he doesn't have to apologize to me, I just want him to feel better. I feel bad because he thinks it's ruining my life. Any thoughts on what I can do to help in this situation?
01-17-2013, 11:13 PM   #2
SalBarcia
 
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Something that helped me was speaking to others who actually had what I had; it makes a difference. Support groups are great. Have him get involved in a chapter near home with the Crohn's Foundation, they are great!


All the Best,


Salvatore Barcia
Crohn's Disease Patient
Staten Island, New York
01-17-2013, 11:39 PM   #3
Amber82
 
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When I had my surgrey my dad got me a labtop and I was able to do something while I was stuck in bed. One day I wasnt feeling good got online and found my way here. Best thing ever! Why not make him a new family member and see if he like all of our crazy, funny, sad, angry, and informitive post. It helps me every time I get on! Ooo and my friends got me lots of mad libs, cross words and gum Good luck!
01-18-2013, 09:53 AM   #4
SarahBear
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Hi, Sara!

Sorry to hear what you two have been doing through, but I'm glad he has someone so supportive!

I think in situations like this, communication is key. A lot of us tend to feel guilty for requiring more time, effort and care from our partners than the average person. Anyone with a medical condition can need more than they want to - and for independent types, it can be even more of an issue.

The best thing to do is just let him know he isn't holding you back or ruining your plans - your plans are to be with him!

As far as information on Crohn's and knowing how to help him, the best thing to do is read through the forum. There are so many educated, intelligent people here, it's just incredible. It never hurts to check facts though - give something a google if you're unsure.

I hope things get better for both of you soon!
__________________


Sarah.
Diagnosed with Crohn's disease 12/6/08.
Have taken: Prednisone, 6mp, methotrexate, Pentasa.
Currently waiting for a new medication!

Check out the Crohn's forum chat!

01-18-2013, 10:05 PM   #5
saralynn
 
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Thanks everyone. I'm glad I found this Forum. Everyone is extremely kind and Helpful! I'm going to try to get him to join it as well. We had a rough evening. So it was refreshing to read the advice everyone has given me! Thanks again!

Sara
01-29-2013, 10:39 PM   #6
Ya noy
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My husband just got out of the hospital. Don't think he got much sleep in the hospital because he's been on the couch in a semi-stupor ever since. It wasn't for Crohn's but rather a serious reaction to a medication he was taking.

It's very upsetting and frustrating not being able to do much of anything to help relieve the pain, and not even knowing whether it's better to try and comfort, or just let him recover in peace. They were treating him intravenously with prednisone, which made him extremely irrational, so I spent most of the time at the hospital with him. The hospital staff may have found my sleeping in his hospital bed a little strange, but didn't say anything, probably because it kept him from snapping at them. To be honest, I was too exhausted to care what anyone there thought.

I'm still worried and wish there was more I could do too.
01-30-2013, 06:09 PM   #7
saralynn
 
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I agree. I absolutely hate that I can't help him! He's back in the hospital today and he keeps saying things like, "maybe we should break up. you shouldn't have to deal with me." and "I'll never be a good husband"... Just wish I knew what to do!
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