I have lost everything in the last 6 months (POST UPDATE - Scroll to bottom)
This is more of a therapeutic post for me. I have had so much shit happen to me in the last 6 months that I am so depressed and have no idea what to do. I feel so alone right now.
Obviously this all started when I first got diagnosed with crohns back in December, I had a horrible experience, you can read about my entire experiance with getting crohns by reading this post.
http://www.crohnsforum.com/showthread.php?p=558410&posted=1#post558410
Since I got home, I have been out of work since then, I have been in pain ever since, having to take percocets, and im even on fentenyl patches and having to see a pain specialist for all the cramping and pain. But thats not the worst of it. My life has fallen apart since I have been home.
A little about me, I was managing the cooperate office for the Home Depot, making excellent money, and the job was wonderful. I am also an entertainer, I perform magic for company events, trade shows, private parites, restaurants, etc... Well a few weeks after getting out of the hospital, My manager called me and informed me that the entire division across the country has been shut down, and we all lost our jobs. So I was laid off. (yay for added stress!) on top of that, my insurance had denied my Humira injections and wanted 1700 bux per injection.
Wonderful...
So time goes on, and I keep seeing my doc for my blood tests, and my inflammation markers were getting worse, so now im doing injections every week instead of every 2 weeks. (I got my insurance to cover the injections now, but back then it was a nightmare)
As more time went on, with my health getting worse, I was just laying in bed every day, depressed and sad, and I looked to my girlfriend of 4 years (we have been living together for 4 years) for support, and she was very supportive in the begging, but after only a few weeks, started getting over trying to help me out, and would blame me, and put me down all the time... Which was messed up, but I felt her frustration because she was in the process of starting up her own company and working really hard on her new business. So i figured her stress was already high enough from that.. But her stress was causing me stress, so it was a very hard time..
This is too hard for me to type all the details. so long story short.
The 15th of this month, was my 4 year anniversary with my girlfriend. Well on the 14th. the day before our 4 year.. she admitted to me that she has been seeing with guy since I got out of the hospital and she slept with him.
I came to my parents house and have been here for the last 5 days, and she has been calling and texting me non-stop crying saying how she fucked up and loves me more than anything and wants me back.
Since I got this fucking crohns I have lost my job, my hobbies, friends, and now my girlfriend fucked another guy.
We still have our condo together and I have no clue what to do, Half of me want to forgive her because I really do love and care about her, but the other half of me says fuck this, I should find a person that loves and cares about me.
I hate life at the moment.
This is more of a therapeutic post for me. I have had so much shit happen to me in the last 6 months that I am so depressed and have no idea what to do. I feel so alone right now.
Obviously this all started when I first got diagnosed with crohns back in December, I had a horrible experience, you can read about my entire experiance with getting crohns by reading this post.
http://www.crohnsforum.com/showthread.php?p=558410&posted=1#post558410
Since I got home, I have been out of work since then, I have been in pain ever since, having to take percocets, and im even on fentenyl patches and having to see a pain specialist for all the cramping and pain. But thats not the worst of it. My life has fallen apart since I have been home.
A little about me, I was managing the cooperate office for the Home Depot, making excellent money, and the job was wonderful. I am also an entertainer, I perform magic for company events, trade shows, private parites, restaurants, etc... Well a few weeks after getting out of the hospital, My manager called me and informed me that the entire division across the country has been shut down, and we all lost our jobs. So I was laid off. (yay for added stress!) on top of that, my insurance had denied my Humira injections and wanted 1700 bux per injection.
Wonderful...
So time goes on, and I keep seeing my doc for my blood tests, and my inflammation markers were getting worse, so now im doing injections every week instead of every 2 weeks. (I got my insurance to cover the injections now, but back then it was a nightmare)
As more time went on, with my health getting worse, I was just laying in bed every day, depressed and sad, and I looked to my girlfriend of 4 years (we have been living together for 4 years) for support, and she was very supportive in the begging, but after only a few weeks, started getting over trying to help me out, and would blame me, and put me down all the time... Which was messed up, but I felt her frustration because she was in the process of starting up her own company and working really hard on her new business. So i figured her stress was already high enough from that.. But her stress was causing me stress, so it was a very hard time..
This is too hard for me to type all the details. so long story short.
The 15th of this month, was my 4 year anniversary with my girlfriend. Well on the 14th. the day before our 4 year.. she admitted to me that she has been seeing with guy since I got out of the hospital and she slept with him.
I came to my parents house and have been here for the last 5 days, and she has been calling and texting me non-stop crying saying how she fucked up and loves me more than anything and wants me back.
Since I got this fucking crohns I have lost my job, my hobbies, friends, and now my girlfriend fucked another guy.
We still have our condo together and I have no clue what to do, Half of me want to forgive her because I really do love and care about her, but the other half of me says fuck this, I should find a person that loves and cares about me.
I hate life at the moment.
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