cant believe ive allowed myself get to this position again, recently with the good weather we had and i was on a good stretch i forgot i was ill and enjoyed a few ciders in the sun, a week later i end up in A&E at 4am with a blockage which luckily moved on its own, now i have doctors making me want to take the medicines they recommend. i dont want to take the tablets as i know when you on them your just moving onto stronger tablets and treatments which result in time in hospitals....
i have always had plans to move to a different country as i dont want to be here now stress has built up with my partner , my family seem to be slowly becoming more unsupportive and im at that stage where im having symptons kicking in , i cant picture myself in a weeks time yet alone a year from now and its killing me to think this is how its gonna be until i die. now that thought seems very appealing in times like this no more waking up depressed but i love my family to much to hurt them and do that (supportive or not)
so i result to throwing it all out on here and then going to escape for a couple of hours before i come down and realise im still here....vent over lol
i have always had plans to move to a different country as i dont want to be here now stress has built up with my partner , my family seem to be slowly becoming more unsupportive and im at that stage where im having symptons kicking in , i cant picture myself in a weeks time yet alone a year from now and its killing me to think this is how its gonna be until i die. now that thought seems very appealing in times like this no more waking up depressed but i love my family to much to hurt them and do that (supportive or not)
so i result to throwing it all out on here and then going to escape for a couple of hours before i come down and realise im still here....vent over lol