06-15-2006, 09:07 AM   #1
Anonymous User
 
Hurting

My partner and I had a disagreement the other day, and where I was happy to make compromises he wasn't, and instead of talking to me he cut me off. He still won't talk with me now... and it wasn't even such a major disagreement... it was certainly one that could have been resolved.

So I wrote to him and laid my feelings bare... and his response was 'what do you want me to say?' Well i guess i just wanted him to tell me how he felt about us.. and if he wanted us to have the future together that we were planning. Well it wasn't forthcoming, but instead of talking to me and telling me that its over, he's just avoiding me...and that hurts more than anything.

Now I can't help thinking that it was all one big lie, and I'm just a sucker for believing him. It hurts so much, there's so much I want to say and I don't have an outlet for it... now all I can do is sit back and wait for the pain to stop.

Sorry to vent but I just dont know what else to do
06-15-2006, 11:44 AM   #2
DannyB
 
Well first and foremost a problem shared is a problem halved. You really have to think about yourself and make sure your health is getting looked after and that this is just a passing thing. Everything that happens in life has reasons for happening and in the end it will all make sense. Us males can be a bit harsh at times but we don't mean any harm by it!
06-15-2006, 12:15 PM   #3
k-t
 
Unfortunatly males aren't that great at spelling out how they feel all the time....However to avoid you and not have the guts to say whats going on... annoys me fully so i can appreciate how your feeling. But what you need to do is concentrate on yourself forget him, if he hasn't been bothered to talk to you then you know what he isn't worth it and your worth so much more. So you just try to smile and believe in the mantra that "if its meant to be it will be"

Ktxx
06-17-2006, 01:20 PM   #4
Jonny
 
I hope you get it resolved whatever the result cause its best to move on than stuck feeling unhappy about things .Let us know how you get on
06-17-2006, 04:11 PM   #5
steph
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
i know the feeling anon. that was when i first started going to the gym, it became an outlet. now it is part of my lifestyle. i also wrote poetry or just sometimes a letter to myself - got all the feelings out.
you have a good heart and deserve much better.
take care, steph
06-17-2006, 05:27 PM   #6
Valentina
 
hope you managed to talk things through with him, and are feeling better about things, however they have turned out. communication is so important, but seems it can be one of the hardest things to do.
take care of yourself.
06-19-2006, 10:40 AM   #7
Tami Lynn
Forum Angel
 
Tami Lynn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Ocala, Florida
It is unfortunately that your partner is taking the "easy way out," as I can completely understand that KNOWING where he stands would obviously be better than being ignored and avoided.

Not to trivialize your pain...but it may be for the best that you are finding this out now, rather than later.

I had a relationship (my first love and first marriage) that was based on nothing more than LIES... it doesn't feel very good to realize that something that was REAL in your heart and mind, wasn't actually real or true at all.

It may sound cliche, but time does heal all wounds. You deserve someone better than that, and at the very least, someone who will be completely upfront, open, and honest with you. A little communication goes a long way and it never works when it's one sided.

Please be encouraged to know that life does exist and can be happy again after having your heart broken... I'm living proof.

Best wishes!
__________________
-Tami

"The only thing worse than being diagnosed with Crohn's disease 25 years ago, was when my daughter got diagnosed with this dreaded disease 4 years ago and having to stand by and watch her suffer with the same things I've dealt with for most of my life and feeling so utterly helpless to do anything about it!"
06-19-2006, 02:58 PM   #8
Kbear
 
I look at any serious relationship like a huge pyramid. lol! Funny I know.
Seriously though, the bottom of this structure (your relationship) should be solid in communication, respect, honesty and any other major things one can think of like positive attitude etc. The next layer up, is important, but doesn't need to be as solid as the grounding of the the relationship. So for myself I see physically attractive, good hygine etc. And then at the top of the pyramid or relationship I see nice colored eyes or any other really simple things that I love about the partner I am with.
So, when any one of these main bottom pieces are lacking, like lack of respect or lack of communication (by ignoring)...
This is when things really need to be addressed. And I agree with Danny on this one, it is crucial that you think of you and your health. As much as you love someone in a relationship, when you are ignored like this, you have to think of yourself. For you deserve to be treated much better than this. And this is the time when you must focus on loving yourself. For when stress hits IBD, it the "sufferers" you suffer! lol! I can speak for myself in past hurtful relationships, when I have gone into flare up mode, and I am the one who really hurt emotionally and physically.
06-20-2006, 01:10 AM   #9
Kate
 
hey hun

look after yourself and remeber its his loss not yours you dont need that kinda stress

HUGS
Kate
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