Am I the only one who's exhausted just from the CD cycle alone?!
Starting with the flare-up...trying to get better...sadness/pity for yourself...guilt for constantly sharing your feelings about your CD with friends and family because you feel like you're annoying/boring them...and then googling anything cd related almost all day!
Then when we get "better", the cycle still doesn't end. Now you spend every moment thinking about food...restrictions with food...making sure you don't get a flare again...trying to gain/lose weight...trying to wean off steroids...research...
When I first got diagnosed 10 years ago, I wasn't fearful. I always thought of the doctor as someone who made things "go away". So I figured CD was like a broken arm; I would need treatment, then I would be back to normal...good as new!
Boy, you should have seen the look on my face after my first flare-up...6 months after my diagnosis. I didn't understand that CD was for LIFE, and that I was never going to be rid of CD.
And sometimes I just want to relax, but I can't! And it's frustrating. I'm 29 and I feel like I've missed out on so much. Just once I would love to go out with friends and drink...and not have that voice in my head or gurgle in my tummy reminding me that I can get sick. And I hate that when I get "sick", I'm just not in slippers and drinking honey tea for a week like normal people! Nope, I'm "out" for weeks, sometimes months at a time! And then when I do get better, I need a few extra months to "feel" normal again.
And I don't like the person I'm becoming. I actually rolled my eyes at a friend who was complaining about the flu. The freaking flu! But I know it's not her fault that I have CD...but it drives me nuts when my friends or family complain about a tiny cold...I WISH I could take some cough medicine and be back to normal!
And my own thoughts are my worst enemy. I stress, wondering if I will ever get married. If I will be able to have kids, let alone raise them. I can't even finish school in a timely matter!
Sorry for the rant! I just wanted to post my thoughts someplace where I could be understood. I know I'm supposed to be positive and have happy thoughts...but it still drives me nuts when I "complain" to my mother and all she says is "Be positive".
Starting with the flare-up...trying to get better...sadness/pity for yourself...guilt for constantly sharing your feelings about your CD with friends and family because you feel like you're annoying/boring them...and then googling anything cd related almost all day!
Then when we get "better", the cycle still doesn't end. Now you spend every moment thinking about food...restrictions with food...making sure you don't get a flare again...trying to gain/lose weight...trying to wean off steroids...research...
When I first got diagnosed 10 years ago, I wasn't fearful. I always thought of the doctor as someone who made things "go away". So I figured CD was like a broken arm; I would need treatment, then I would be back to normal...good as new!
Boy, you should have seen the look on my face after my first flare-up...6 months after my diagnosis. I didn't understand that CD was for LIFE, and that I was never going to be rid of CD.
And sometimes I just want to relax, but I can't! And it's frustrating. I'm 29 and I feel like I've missed out on so much. Just once I would love to go out with friends and drink...and not have that voice in my head or gurgle in my tummy reminding me that I can get sick. And I hate that when I get "sick", I'm just not in slippers and drinking honey tea for a week like normal people! Nope, I'm "out" for weeks, sometimes months at a time! And then when I do get better, I need a few extra months to "feel" normal again.
And I don't like the person I'm becoming. I actually rolled my eyes at a friend who was complaining about the flu. The freaking flu! But I know it's not her fault that I have CD...but it drives me nuts when my friends or family complain about a tiny cold...I WISH I could take some cough medicine and be back to normal!
And my own thoughts are my worst enemy. I stress, wondering if I will ever get married. If I will be able to have kids, let alone raise them. I can't even finish school in a timely matter!
Sorry for the rant! I just wanted to post my thoughts someplace where I could be understood. I know I'm supposed to be positive and have happy thoughts...but it still drives me nuts when I "complain" to my mother and all she says is "Be positive".