Beyond frustrated

So many things are infuriating me today.

weve had a tough time the past week my dad got hospitalised and my mum panicked cos they thought it was his heart. Turns out was just a nasty virus

This however made me feel like a nasty human being complaining of feeling unwell.
its like every time my health picks up I say something and I jinx myself. Had a urine infection I picked up said I felt better it came back. Discussed how remicade infusion is due soon but im now feeling better m noticing improvement maybe I wont need them so close together and now I feel like I need the infusion yesterday.

im so fed up n frustrated. Im over weight but ive been coubtibg my calories today I ate 600 calories and walked for an hour how am I alive let alone over weight?!

Now I feel like complete $h!t ive had headaches that are in my neck if that makes sense my joints in my upper body hurt im getting intestine spasms. I feel rough its prob just flu theres a lot going about.

its also finals week im stressed to my eyeballs and my mum wants to take the car tomorrow leaving me stranded with nowhere to go because its finals week the library is booked out. Unless I sit in a hallway somewhere for hours!!

Im just so fed up of the cards im being dealt. I know ive had it worse n other people have it much worse but im constantly trying to better myself personally with my health exercise eating healthy getting an education and I constantly feel like my efforts are a waste of time.

I do not feel like I can talk to my parents about my feelings or health every time I break that barrier something happens that makes me feel like im an inconvenience. They hardly even speak to me about anything so I feel horrible when the only thing I discuss with them is school fees and medical bills.

sorry for moaning... I am just so extremely fed up. I just need theseexams over with, my infusion and a good sleep.

I know it's not much. But, I hope your exams go well and that you'll soon be able to relax again. :hug:

Sorry you've got so many things going wrong. I hope your dad is ok - you shouldn't feel bad about feeling ill yourself. You have your own health problems to deal with - Crohn's doesn't go away just because someone else in the family is also ill.

im so fed up n frustrated. Im over weight but ive been coubtibg my calories today I ate 600 calories and walked for an hour how am I alive let alone over weight?!

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That's way too little to eat. Even if you need to lose weight, you need to eat more than that to keep yourself healthy. If you eat 600 calories a day consistently, you will lose weight but you'll compromise your health and likely end up feeling worse. Your body needs energy coming in to keep fighting the disease and to get you as healthy as possible. It's better to aim at around 2000 calories a day. Though the best amount for weight loss can vary quite a bit from this depending if you're male or female, your height, age, activity level, etc. There are online calculators that can give you an approximate amount to aim for, taking these factors into account. But 600 calories a day is too low for anyone. If you consistently eat and take in less calories than your body burns, you will lose weight. It's literally impossible for anyone not to.

Do you have anyone else you can talk to if your parents aren't good listeners? Maybe you could begin to improve communication with your parents by trying to have conversations with them about more happy topics - ones which don't touch on any painful emotional issues. It's hard when your life is being dominated by health problems, but setting aside some time to try and distract yourself with something fun and trivial, just for a short while each day, can help you feel better.

You're not wasting your time trying to get healthy and get an education. An education is always valuable, you won't regret it. But when it comes to health, remember you can't compare yourself to healthy young people. Many healthy people take their health for granted. When you have a disease like this, it can be a huge achievement just to keep on going.

Thank u both I was just needing to vent!

I dont eat 600 calories on a regular basis, I do struggle to reach above 1200 I have to count calories and push myself to have smoothies or just have a choc bar lol!

My parents will talk to me...if its about them lol theyre prob just ready for me to fly the nest....

thanks for ur support. These exams will be over before I am ready and then ill lose myself in a good novel - the best way to escape!!

Thanks again for listening to my silly moan... in the grand scheme of things a day is only 24 hours and tomorrow will probably be slightly brighter...

(Until I need to vent again!) Haha

Im off to bed. Exams are exhausting which is prob why I needed to fall apart

Good luck in your exams. :ghug: