Me and my life

Hi there

I really don't know where to start but I guess I should desribe my life, and where I started!

My name is Elle, Im 16 years old and am currently sitting my GCSE's in school I was born in Bristol into a family of 2 loving parents and 2 loving brothers. I don't remember much about my childhood in Bristol, but I know I was a normal out going kid who did everything everybody else did.

We then moved in 1999 (when i was 10) down to sunny old Devon! When we first moved down I was happy and made friends very quickly, I felt at home! As I got older, I started to change. I woudn't leave the house as much, only for school, I started to distance myself from everyone around me and began self harming. My mum took me to the doctor and they simply said I was growing up and becoming a teenager! I was left alone and got on with my life by myself, Everyone at school and my friends found out about what was going on, and I then got bullied for a very long time. I kept it quite and just put on a happy face.

Just after my 14th birthday, I started to rebel, I got my first boyfriend and started to drink and smoke. I didn't get on in school and was getting bullied so badly i refused to go to school. I got referred to counsellers and started talking about my feelings and what was going on in my head. I hated myself and wanted to die, I thought I was fat and ugly and no body liked me.... But I got help and battled on with my life and WAS happy.

On the 8th March, I was rushed to hospital with apendisitis (not sure on spelling sorry) I was in the operating theatre within hours and was home within days. I got all this attention and people where caring for me and visiting me, I felt loved!

The months went on and on, It got to june, I wasn't any better, I lost a few pounds and that was normal, It was the begining of the summer holiday and I just wanted to die. I got depressed and hated myself again. My mum thought I was just rebelling again, and carried on like normal!

It got to September, and before I knew it I was back in school starting year 11. I was so scared and everyday I couldnt understand what was happening I was lossing weight, Being sick, chronic diarrhea, pain in my stomach. I thought I had a virus and my told my mum, she didnt beleive me and sent me to school anyway thinking it was just me being bullied again but it wasnt. I stopped eating as much because I was scared that it would come up or pass through me too quickly... I just wanted to be normal and knew if i cutted down on food.... People in school wouldnt know anything was wrong.

A month later I was just the same, not any better and started to see my doctor and got referred back to torbay hospital. They stared investigating.... it took months and alot of tests, and they still couldnt find anything! They started investigating Anerexia, as I wasnt eating properly, which was proven wrong as I only lost about 5 pounds and would still eat just not as much!

My birthday came around on Novemeber the 9th, I was still unwell and couldn't celerbrate my 16th brithday, as i was in hospital again. I was then in and out of hospital untill the end of december with various blood tests and other samples. I then went in for a barrimeal and a colonoscopy in January of this year, My crohns disease was confirmed near enough 10 minutes after I woke up..... When the doctor said it my heart sinked and I felt fisically sick! Almost a year of suffering all coming down to this! I didn't really care and thought everything would just get better!

2 weeks after my diagnoses, I went in for a Infliximab infusion, Which I now have every 8 weeks, I don't think it makes a difference and feel just as depressed and down as ever!

I thought this was the end of my problems, But when I was confirmed with crohns I stopped eating like i did before. I was 9 stone 10 and now just over 7 stone, I am starting treatment at health clinic and with the hopsital because crohns disease has given me an eating disorder, I am now scared to eat because of I couldnt keep anything in me when I started to get unwell.

A few weeks later, I was due a period, i missed it.... I thought it was because of the massive weight loss.... I then went on to miss 3 periods, and am still awaiting another appointment with my doctor at torbay hospital to discuss other problems. I am dreading it.... because I think I know what they are going to say! but I guess there is still a chance for it all to be down to my weight loss Fingers crossed

When my GCSE's started at school, I got my head down and tried to carry on with my life although all this was happening, A friend over heard me telling my head of year about my crohns and decided to tell her friends. Obviously the news spread fast and I was being bullied again. I was being made fun of for going to the toilet or skipping a meal. I then got removed from school and now only go in for my GCSE's!

Things are looking better for me, I am going to study at south devon college, and prove all those who bullied me and disbeleived me wrong! I will get better and will lead a normal life

Although Ive gone through a lot, Im still a fighter and will never let anything get the best of me, I might still be lossing weight and feeling depressed but I just look at all the positive things.... A loving mother and a loving brother thats all i need.... There are my rock, and i love them to peices!



Thank you for reading my story of my life

Sorry for the essay lol

take care all

Elle xo

Elle, we are glad you are here. Feel free to ask any questions that you may have, we seem to be a wealth of knowledge around here

It sounds like you have been through quite a lot, but hopefully all that is behind you now.

hey elle!
glad to see you here
im 19 and was dx at 9, so i can relate to you with going thru school years with this, it sucks! kids are mean when it comes to poo and bathroom issues. i did my best to hide it, but it was obvious something was wrong when i would be out of class 30 mins for the bathroom, miss lots of school, or suddenly gain or lose a ton of weight.
regarding your period, dont worry too much just yet. i havent had mine since last july! seriouisly, it just poof!-- up and left. at that time i was slowly losing weight and then between sept and march i was down almost 40 lb. so losing weight can definitly make your period go away as your body realizes that its not healthy enough to support itself much less keep a baby in there!

keep asking questions, theres lots of good info and people on this site to help

Im just making my way around the site lol finding pages and reading other posts it seems like a nice place to chat about crohns, because everyone on here has it lol so im deffo gonna ask a few questions and hopefully get some helpfull replys

And I won't worry about my period and things yet then lol was just a bit of a shock lol but thank you for your posts, i shall keep you updated

x

hi Elle welcome to our forum

your opening post got me quite emotional, not just because it's so unfair what you've been through with your health and everything else, but also because in some parts it is a carbon copy of what i felt and went through when i was younger.

what came through in your post loud & clear was that you are right - you definitely are a fighter, and that spirit is what will get you through.

i know some things sound easy to say and not so easy to take note of, and this might sound like one of them, but please believe me when i say that those people who have bullied you and made you feel bad are absolutely unimportant, and you should treat them as such. in a few years, you'll probably never see these people again, and i think their attitude may well have gone to make you that bit stronger for your future.

you're lucky to have a mum and brother who you feel so close to, and i bet you'll make some lovely new friends at college, and now you have us here too feel free to ask anything you like, we're not shy here, and we know what it feels like to have Crohn's.

really glad you joined us Elle, i hope the forum helps you a lot, as it has done me and so many others.

Thank you for your post

I guess kids can be cruel, but you are right i probaly wont see these people again! Just annoys me that they can't see how much a comment can hurt someone.

Im glad i found this forum, its full of information and people who understand as they have been in the same position! So thank you guys

Your post made me feel quite sad too as you have been through similar things to me at a similar age. I am 18 and was diagnosed just before my 17th birthday. I also didnt have periods for a long time and the doctors thought i was pregnant even tho I told them countless times i was not. But Kello82's explination of it does seem to make alot of sence!
I also have the same feeling of other people at college not understanding me, and it also tends to be the same people that make no effort to and make the stupid comments. In a way you have to laugh at these people for their ignorance and stupidity! (even though i know it can be hurtful)
Anyway welcome to the forum! I hope you start feeling better soon, it can often take a while to get the right medication and dosage etc but hang in there! With the love and support of your family (and your new friends at the forum!) you will get through the hard times
Holly
xXxXx