Back to work tomorrow

Hello everyone,
I've been in quite a bad flare since November, and have missed lots of work (I haven't done a full working week since flare started). I've spent most of the last week and a half in hospital, but I'm meant to be going back to work tomorrow.
I'm worried, I am better than I was, but still exhausted and using the bathroom 5-10 times a day. I feel like need more time off, but I feel awful having to constantly ring in sick.
My work are extremely supportive, but I still worry about the trouble I cause. I feel guilty constantly, and like I have to work 10x as hard as everyone else to make up for my terrible attendance.
I just hate this.
Sorry for the miserable post, I needed to vent!

Kayleigh if you back to work still unwell u will make yourself worse trust me I've been there. I worked right through a flare last year and ended up so exhausted i jumped everytime my phone rang, was shaking continuously, crying for no reason, and obv the stress stopped my flare from easing.

I understand why you don't like phoning in sick, I'm the same. But my partner has drilled it into me that, sometimes, i just need some time. This is a horrible horrible disease we suffer from, we get really ill, and we need support and understanding from our employers.

Please don't go back to work until you feel ready. Even take another week if u can to recharge your batteries, catch up on sleep, just generally feel better. Is your doctor ok signing u off?

Sending hugs xx

I agree with aphrodite-x kayleigh. I'm just starting to work since November too.My employer is working with me and letting me work shorter days.I get very tired and sometime work just a few hours.I understand the feeling when you want to be there with everyone else but just can't do it.I would say try working but don't push yourself,do what you can.If you feel you need more time than you should take that time.Hopefully we will work our way back and make it through a day!Keep the faith

Kayleigh90, we share your frustration. It's horrible when you are trying to get back to work, but can't realistically. And don't ever feel embarrassed about 'venting' here. That's what we're all here for.

I agree with Aphrodite-X and Dave too. I flared badly in Sept 2012, and tried to keep working through it all. But I wound up so stressed out and underperforming at work, that it ultimately cost me a contract renewal. They had been really supportive, but there were limits....

I was forced to take a 3-month break in Jan-Mar 2013 (due to a reaction to Imuran), and it was the best thing I could have done. When I returned to work in late-March, I felt refreshed, and was far more relaxed about dealing with a couple of difficult personalities in the workplace. It also gave me the space to reconsider my career direction and I wound up moving to a more flexible work place.

So take the time you need (provided you can manage financially) and get yourself well.

Sending you big hugs.

Try not to push yourself too hard if you just got out of the hospital. Are you making quality time for yourself during your time off and taking well enough care with food/diet/stressors/sleep etc...? Can you work out a temporary/alternate schedule or task assignment with your boss that would allow you some extra down time? You should really be taking some time after the hospital visit to rest and make sure you are physically and emotionally ready to go back to work.

Do you live and work in the US? If so, do you have the option to apply for FMLA at your job? Which would put you in a position where you are allowed a few weeks off for illness (pay or no pay depending on your job benefits) and they cannot fire you. If they replace you they must put you into a reasonable new position. Some people find it risky to take the leave but much more find it helpful for situations like yours and worse. It gives you time to properly heal.

If the above isn't an option, you could always use your lunch time to rest. I was in a similar position when I was at my worst in flaring. I had a job where I could take time off, but it made me look bad and I found myself putting in triple the effort when I was able to make it to work so people wouldn't think any less of me than I already feared they did. I felt guilty and I felt embarrassed.

I used my lunch breaks whenever I could to nap in empty offices with the door closed or in quiet spaces where I could not be seen or bothered. I made it a point to try to get to bed earlier than normal each night to allow adequate rest. Your body works to heal itself 10x more when you are sleeping than when you are awake.

Wishing you the best and hoping that you start to feel even better soon