09-03-2014, 07:29 PM   #1
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LewisS's Avatar
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Location: Hull, United Kingdom

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This is a first...

A bit peeved...

My cousin posted a status on facebook earlier saying the following: "Grandma, I don't think there's connection between Crohn's disease and being gay." - sentence I never expected to say in my life.

Yes, this is my grandmother too. So putting two and two together, I'll say they were discussing me. Obviously. She has early stage Alzheimer's, but I don't think that excuses the fact she would ask if the two were related simply because she's always had very backward views.

So, her reasoning behind that I wonder - anal sex? I've never had it. She is more likely to have had anal sex than I have (not pleasant to think about, but true) and is she aware that heterosexual people can participate in anal sex? Is she aware, CHILDREN and BABIES have this disease. Long story short, leaflets are coming her way. She can withhold a perfectly coherent conversation about other subjects and is in no way severely affected by her Alzheimer's just yet! Plus, the fact that there was a discussion taking place about this is enough to piss me off.

The thing that really bothers me is that her boyfriend (can you even call him her boyfriend at 80 whatever years old...) is indirectly homophobic. They once angrily tore up an photograph of their son kissing a guy and he isn't even gay, it was just a joke, apparently. But yeah, wouldn't surprise me if he put that in her head!

Dx Panenteric Crohn's Disease (gastric, duodenum, terminal ileum, colon, rectum and fistulising perianal disease) 08/14

Humira - Bi-Weekly

09-03-2014, 07:45 PM   #2
nogutsnoglory's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: New York

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That's really aggravating on multiple levels, that they are talking behind your back publicly and being so stupid as to entertain this notion. Im guessing they know you are gay and that's why the thought crossed her mind. We had another user complain that her friend thought crohns might be caused by being queer or that it's some religious punishment for her being bi http://www.crohnsforum.com/showthread.php?t=56051

It's annoying that people are misinformed, I mean most people with this illness like all illnesses are straight because most people in the world are straight! Also, most gay people are perfectly healthy so if being gay caused IBD wouldn't we see this forum overflowing?

I guess all you can do is educate her and her bf and hope that they evolve.

Also, why is your cousin saying *I don't think* and not being like um, no that's crazy.
09-03-2014, 07:53 PM   #3
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The worst thing is too, I didn't tell her I was gay. Nor did I tell him I was gay. So somebody has obviously taken the liberty of doing so for me...

My mother is livid, so I am sure they are going to be educated very soon! I have an information pack that my IBD nurse gave me, so I'll pass that on too.

I just don't get it, because they're not religious and I didn't think they were that stupid. Obviously I was wrong. Her brother has crohn's disease too, so does he have it because he's gay? What a dinosaur.

Yeah I mean, not only that, he posted it on facebook and got 39 likes from it. Way to go - now more people are associating IBD with being gay! He meant well, but there are some stupid people out there that will believe such things.
09-03-2014, 08:37 PM   #4
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SupportiveMom's Avatar
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Location: Toronto, Ontario

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All I have is evil thoughts for that type of backwards thinking! Good for you for taking the high road!
Mom of 16 yr. girl w/Indeter.Colitis Sep. 2012(age 11) Nov.2012 Crohn's Sep. 2014 Crohn's Colitis, UC Nov 2015, Crohn's Feb. 2016

Ileostomy surgery July 2015

Current Meds: None!
Previous Meds: Humira, Remicade, Methotrexate, Cipro, Flagyl, Zofran, Cortifoam, 5-ASA suppository, Questran, Mezavant, EEN (Peptamen Jr. 1.5) by NG tube, Antibiotic Cocktail (Vancomycin, Metronidazole & Doxycycline), Simponi, Prevacid, Imuran, prednisone
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09-04-2014, 08:32 AM   #5
Patch's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Michigan
Not quite the same thing, but my parents once told my therapist that they thought having Crohn's made me feel inadequate as a male and that's why I decided I was transgender. =\
09-04-2014, 09:02 AM   #6
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DJW's Avatar
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Location: Ontario

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Unfortunately that thinking still exists. Years ago (around the time of my DX) many people, including some doctors thought it was all in our heads. Long held, faulse beliefs, can be like turning an ocean liner around in a tight space.

Sending you my support.
Crohn's Disease
DX 1978 (12 yrs old)
Ileostomy at 19

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09-06-2014, 06:00 PM   #7
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darster's Avatar
People can be so ignorant. It's hard enough dealing with this disease, never mind stupid people doing insensitive things. Positive thoughts sent your way.

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