Crohn's Disease Forum » Support Forum » Vent Away » So annoyed at myself..

01-18-2015, 04:18 AM   #1
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Manchester, United Kingdom

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So annoyed at myself..

I haven't been on here for ages, but 8 weeks ago I had emergency ileostomy surgery, my self-esteem has plummeted and as a result I feel like it is putting a massive strain on my relationship.
He's known about my Crohns from the start (we've been together like 18 months) I know it's not forever but I'm only 22.
He's been through all my ileostomy stuff with me and been an absolute gem.
But a few weeks ago I found some texts between him and a girl from work that were too close for comfort, so I confronted him, he said nothing happened with her and it was all just via text flirting which he knew was wrong.
So I felt like at this point I needed him still, so I forgave him and we carried on,
But since then, I have been SO SO SO crazy paranoid, every time he is on his phone or whatever or whenever he's not with me my minds just on overdrive thinking the worst.
I just feel so undesirable now I have this bag and I really wouldn't blame him if he left cos I do feel like a psycho.
But I don't know how to shake these feelings of paranoia and jealousy that plague me every single day.
Who knew an operation on your bowel could do so much to your head.
Holly xxx
Crohn's Disease

...of the Terminal Ileum/Rectum
Diagnosed w/Crohns
Pentasa 4x1g
Azathioprine 125mg
Due to Start Humira

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01-19-2015, 06:12 PM   #2
Cross-stitch gal
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Vancouver, Washington

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I'm glad to see you back on here. But, not for this reason (if that makes sense at all). I'm afraid that I have no experience in this. But, was wondering if you'd thought of joining a couple of support groups on here. Maybe by talking it over with others who are going through the same thing or have gone through it may help some. Here are the links to each of them. One is the young adult group and the other is a stoma support group. I hope you'll check these out. Sending you lots of hugs and support.
Ulcerative Colitis/IBD 1996, Iritis 2001, Ulcerative Proctitis 2013, Indeterminate Colitis 2016, Remission 2017, Hand Eczema

Current Meds:
Pentasa 1000mg 2xday or Mesalamine DR 1.2gm 2xday, Canasa Suppositories (when needed) 1000mg 1xday, Tylenol 3 with codeine 300-30mg (when needed)

600+D Calcium 2xday, Multivitamin, 65mg Iron 1xday, Fish Oil 1000mg, Vitamin D3 5,000 I.U., Eye Drops 2xday

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Crohn's Disease Forum » Support Forum » Vent Away » So annoyed at myself..
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