• Welcome to Crohn's Forum, a support group for people with all forms of IBD. While this community is not a substitute for doctor's advice and we cannot treat or diagnose, we find being able to communicate with others who have IBD is invaluable as we navigate our struggles and celebrate our successes. We invite you to join us.

New Here

Diagnosed November 2012 with Crohn's Disease.
I am now on Humira and Azathioprine.
4 other people in my family have diagnosed Crohn's Disease.

However I have a hard time telling my specialist how I feel because my mum also has Crohn's disease but she tends to play on her symptoms, I have tried being civil with her but all she wants to do is talk about herself. She even went as far as coming off Methotrexate and demanding to be put on Humira like me.

For the last 2 and a bit years I have not bothered to talk about what I am going through with people because I feel like I am just attention seeking.

I know I should be kinder to my mother as I know what she is going through, but she really does play on it, she wants nothing more than to have a bag...
 
That does sound like an awkward situation especially since you are dealing with the same disease - although of course it affects us all differently. It was an interesting choice of your mother's to want to swap an immunosuppressant for a biologic, when you're on both, as most people on biologics are. Family, eh? I don't have that problem with my mother but her mother did buy herself a bigger and better version of my mother's engagement ring, same design just bigger with more diamonds. Maybe this is your mother's version of that? I'm not exactly trying to make light of it but you don't get to choose your family (or so they say) and maybe for your sake you need to be able to divorce your relationship with your mother and how you feel about how she behaves about her disease, with how you feel about your Crohn's disease and how you deal with your own illness.

I think it's important that in trying to be very different from your mother that you don't ignore your own symptoms or play down how they are affecting you - especially in conversations with your specialist.

I had some very bad doctors early in my diagnosis. The doctor who diagnosed me with Crohn's told me never to join any patient group because they were all a "bunch of whingers" and I definitely internalized that message and didn't want to be thought of as someone who complained. Which only reinforced the pattern that I was already in of ignoring pain and getting by, because that's what I'd been doing for years. The problem is that although we can pat ourselves on the back for our strength and stoicism we can end up with more damage from the disease that has gone unchecked. So definitely try to find a way to be open about what you are going through - even if it's just being honest with yourself and your specialist. And know that you can come and vent in this forum whenever you want.
 
Top