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TTC but flaring when off of birth control

Hi there,

I achieved remission in January and was cleared for pregnancy by a high risk Ob Gyn in March. I was so excited - I thought all of my delayed dreams were about to come true. The problem is that taking continuous birth control has been an important part of managing my symptoms for nearly 7 years. The pill was actually my saving grace for many of the years that I went undiagnosed/misdiagnosed. I have tried to come off of the pill twice and each time has truly been a nightmare.

My husband and I tried, unsuccessfully, to conceive during my last cycle. The other times I was off the pill was more as a trial to see if I could be off of birth control while my disease was very well managed with other medications - Imuran and Humira. Unfortunately, even with those medications, I can't stand the symptoms I have without the pill and I simply can't stick it out and keep trying right now.

With most cycles, I have extreme mood swings between my period and ovulation, and debilitating symptoms during ovulation and about 3 days into my period. No PMS usually, oddly enough. With this cycle though, I was sick nearly the entire time, and my mood swings actually became quite frightening. I have fallen behind with my work and the only option at this time is to get back on the pill and get some semblance of my life back.

We have considered adoption and were actually about to sign on with an agency that would help us adopt through foster care right before I unexpectedly learned I was in remission and that pregnancy was in reach. We still planned to adopt someday but thought we would try for a "homemade" baby while the opportunity was present. I am just feeling so crushed. I am so ready to be a mom and I'm feeling so discouraged.

Any words of wisdom or insight from parents who have been down a similar path? Thank you in advance. :heart:
 
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